Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Why isn't being single enough?

The title to this blog is born out of my frustration from a recent conversation I had with our stake singles representative. For those of you that don't know, in our church there are programs for singles. When you are 18-31 you are considered a young single. When you reach the ripe old age of 32 you are considered just single and this category includes anyone from 32-102 who happens to be single for any reason.

The stake single rep came into work today and I was eating lunch. She pops her head into my office and asks if I'm coming to the New Years eve dance. I said no that I didn't like the dances even when I was younger. Besides, I don't want to go to a singles dance and have to dance with 90 year old men. Not cool. Then she asked if I was coming to the firesides. I said no to that. I have never liked the singles firesides because they are usually boring and sometimes have titles like "I'm single and happy." Well, duh. My feelings towards most of the singles firesides center around that single theme..well, duh. I am sure there are a few of you who can relate.

Then she asks me if I'm online anywhere which means am I on any online sites. My reply is no. If you'll recall I did try ldsplanet but I found out that online dating isn't for me. If you're not super cute and a size zero you get no responses. I really didn't try very hard on ldsplanet but whatever. I figured out pretty quickly that it wasn't for me. Maybe its the timing or just me in general but it was something I grew to be very apathetic about.

Is the conversation over yet? No. These were her parting words.

"So, I guess you're just relying on someone to fix you up." I was like, no I am happy just the way I am. She said, "Well, as long as you're happy."

Let me say this first before I go on my diatribe indicated in my opening title. This woman is very nice and just trying to fulfill her calling but I thought that her delving into my personal and private dating life was a bit much.

Isn't being single good enough for some people? What does it matter if I'm married or not if I am living the gospel and doing the things that I know are right? So what if I don't want to spill my guts out on the Internet on some stupid singles website to try to meet a man? I am not that desperate. I can live this way and be happy. My marital status should have no bearing on my happiness. Do I wish I were married? Of course! Am I going to sit on my hope chest and cry about it? No way! I have too much to do and I am too busy to worry about getting married.

I have good friends, a great family and a good job. When I'm ready maybe I'll step up seeking for a husband but for right now being single is good enough for me.


Frau Bailey said...

I love your attitude! You are too cute. (Do not be too hard on the singles rep. she was just doing her job.) I think that guys are crazy for not snatching your cuteness up! You have it all!! I love you!

Mrs. McMitchell said...

Silly, stupid singles reps. I'm sorry. I know it's her job but...sheesh. I think you're completely amazing and you should just concentrate on living the way that makes you happy. Being married isn't all that it's cracked up to be sometimes, either! ;)

R Matthew Ware said...

I remember John Bytheway's tape on What I Wish I Had Known When I Was Single. The point I got was, single shouldn't define you. You are interesting and unique because you live your life. If everything comes back to, wo is me, I'm single, then you're never going to attract anyone. I think you're going about it the right way. Be happy, live life, and God will bless you.

And I can't believe you named your dog Mattie. I am so depressed :)

K2 said...

Don't worry...the name of our dog is no reflection on you! She is very sweet and kind! Just like you!

K2 said...

Thanks for the sweet comments! You guys rock!

jared said...

What I've never understood about the church is the whole emphasis on the singles to get married. The only thing you can't do while being single in the church is have sex, so it seems to me that this whole mentality sprung out an attempt to keep the single population from getting excommunicated. Either that or it's the misery loves company idea, i.e. all the marrieds are miserable and want everyone to be like them. In the end, though, it turns out that most of us preach, but don't practice tolerance for others.

Point of the story, stay strong Kant. Enjoy being single while you still are.

RCH said...

I agree with everybody else: It's bizarre that church culture wants your ENTIRE identity to be all about your relationship status. You (the general, proverbial you) should be so much more than that -- and YOU (the specific, fabulous you) definitely are! Love you more than I can say. :-)

Heather said...

I agree with Jared. I don't know if I can add much more to it.

Being single is not a disease, and just because we are not married, doesn't mean we are not happy.