Saturday, January 03, 2009

Dear Summit Entertainment: An Open Letter

After much discussion with my a fellow obsessed Twilight fan I would like to offer up these few suggestions for Twilight on DVD and also to continue through to New Moon if applicable.

Please make Edward less hairy. The book describes him as smooth as granite. I've never seen something like a granite counter top with hair. Could he do some waxing for New Moon?

Please make Edward sparkle more in the sun. He needs to be sparklier and not just look like he rolled in glitter. He's supposed to walk out in the sunlight in Italy and have the Volturi want to kill him. As it stands now they might just laugh.

Please let the humans eat something! Every time there are cafeteria scenes the girls are eating celery and the boys aren't eating anything. Then Bella makes a salad and doesn't eat it!

Please use a smaller cannula (the oxygen thing that goes in Bella's nose) so that it doesn't look like the cannula is eating Bella's face.

Please help Edward say worried like an American. Also Hello.

Please avoid any references to monkey's, spider or otherwise.

I think that is all for now. If we think of anything else we will let you know.

K2 and a mystery guest.


Emily Anne said...

AMEN! Do you think you could send this to someone at the movie? Oh, add a part about no cheesy music. Seriously, the music in the movie was BAD.

RCH said...

You crack me up and I love you. :-)

Jacob, Shawn, Joseph, and Shae said...

Ditto! Also, more scenes with Charlie! He was really awesome.

Matthew Ware said...

How about they take the profit from the movie and just reshoot the whole thing for the DVD?

thepainterfamily said...

hahah...agreed! :)

Haney family said...

I think the twilight movie was just a preview for the teeny bopper generation. They really need to work on one for the adult crowd:)
I will never look at a granite counter the same!!!!
They also need an edward that behaves gentalmanly-like in the 1900's. It would help if he doesn't look like he needs to go potty every time he talks :) When my boys look like that I tell them to go potty!
I do love the books:)